It’s been a bit dry of late, which is creating lots of problems for the team here at Boriswatch Towers. Our ornamental roof garden at HQ is looking the worse for wear, and if our poinsettias don’t get a good drink in the next few days then I can only guess at what might happen.
Never fear, though, as Boris has a canny wheeze to solve the drought problems affecting the South East. The Mayor thinks it would be a grand idea to build a giant canal to divert water from Scotland (where they have a lot of rain) to irrigate the giant gardens of the South.
“Since Scotland and Wales are on the whole higher up than England, it is surely time to do the obvious: use the principle of gravity to bring surplus rain from the mountains to irrigate and refresh the breadbasket of the country in the South and East.â€?[You can see why Alex the Salmon wants independence. First we pilfer the oil and now we’re after the water – McBoriswatch]
The Herald is happy to let Bozza have the water. “My local coffee shop sells water for Â£1.25 per 500ml. I think this is a good price for Boris and the Scottish Government should pencil him in for about 50 million bottles….”