The Salt Cell(ar)

For anyone that hasn’t noticed (and we at Boriswatch HQ don’t know why they haven’t been covering this story in the media) it’s been snowing a bit.  Bozza has been on Twitter imitating a concerned old grandad urging Londoners to be on the lookout for their neighbours, and he’s also stepped in this week to ensure London gets its fair amount of salt for the roads.

Unbelievably (and we at BHQ have had to read this several times before we believed it) the Government have a strategic body in place called the ‘Salt Cell’ whose job is to allocate salt.  This is not a joke.  The Salt Heap Allocation Group work in conjuction with the Salt Heavy Industrial Team to decide where in the country the salt should be delivered to.

And Boris was Not Happy as there was no representative from London on either SHAG or SHIT. Despite containing representatives from the Welsh Assembly and Scottish Parliament, London now has a voice on SHAG. Bozza’s nomination of David Brown, Managing Director of Surface Transport at Transport for London, has been accepted. David will join the Salt Cell’s meeting taking place tomorrow at SHIT HQ.  [Perhaps the picture above is of a SHIT heap? – Boriswatch Ed].

Bozza demanded that the Government pass the salt. “In London we have done everything feasible to prepare for the bad weather, but we are now at a point where the government’s salt cell supply system is faltering. This is not a dress rehearsal, it is the real thing, and everything must be done to get the supply moving and avoid the situation of London running out of salt to keep the roads open. We have now secured a strategic voice for London on the body that prioritises who gets the salt, and this way we can ensure that London gets its fair share.”

No wonder this country is 15 gazillion quid in the red, honestly.