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By November 26, 2009News

oysterApparently, according to Boris, the Oysterisation of London has begun (We at Boriswatch HQ are waiting for the new Doctor Who to intervene, but as yet, nothing).

I’m not sure about these Oyster cards, myself.  They do look quite bulky to carry, in my opinion, as it’s taking the Mayor’s transport advisor Kulveer “Power” Ranger and some fella called Sean Collins to carry one.  I’m not sure how it is going to make the underground run any faster with six million people lugging one of these bad boys around.

(We at Boriswatch HQ have got our latest money making pitch ready for the Dragons, though – we’ve come up with giant leather wallets made out of one whole cow that can store your new Oyster card in so you don’t have to get it out (as it were) at every ticket barrier. We are offering 25% of our company for a £50,000 investment, if anyone is interested).

Commuters with one of our Deluxe Leather Boris Oyster Pockets TM will be able to use Oyster Pay as you go on overground rail services in the capital from January 2, creating, for the first time, a fully integrated transport payment system for London.  Lord Andrew Adonis [is that his real name? Boriswatch Ed] said Oysterisation “would transform travel in Londonâ€?. With the new card being the equivalent of carrying a small child around, I am sure that will undoubtedly be true….

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