Sardines

Insurance group Aviva’s website has just been awarded the Internet Crystal Mark for simple and direct language by Plain English Campaign and to commemorate this fact the insurer commissioned a survey to identify the public’s top 10 favourite gobbledygook phrases.

Needless to say, Boris made the list at #10 with this classic line from one of his Have I Got News For You? appearances:

“I could not fail to disagree with you less.�

It’s worth outlining the rest of the Top Ten as we at Boriswatch Towers like a good selection of jibberish…

9. George W Bush
“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe – I believe what I believe is right.â€?

8. Eric Cantona
“When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.�

7. Bill Clinton (during his grand jury testimony about the Monica Lewinsky affair)
“It depends upon what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. If ‘is’ means ‘is and never has been’ that’s one thing – if it means ‘there is none’, that was a completely true statement.�

6. Gordon Brown
“Total spending will continue to rise and it will be a zero per cent rise in 2013-14.�

5. John Motson
“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are playing in yellow.�

4. Murray Walker
“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.�

3. Donald Rumsfeld
“Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.�

2. Arnold Schwarzenegger (who, by the way, once said Boris was talking rubbish)
“I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.�

1. George W Bush [no surprise there – Boriswatch Ed] “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways gobbledygook to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.â€?
Brilliant.