Apparently, renaming a Tube station isn’t quite as easy as you’d think. So have found the residents of Archway, who are determined to have their local Underground stop renamed in honour of famous historical local resident Dick Whittington.
Walter Roberts, a local Archway resident said, “If London’s most famous son gets a Tube station named after him, it would point many tourists in the direction of this Gateway to the North in a way Archway can’t as it sounds dull as ditchwater. The name Archway is irrevocably linked to the suicide bridge and the dreadful Archway Tower which is loathed as one of the worst examples of contemporary architecture. It falls to reason therefore that the area would benefit commercially and culturally if the station is renamed – perhaps as Whittington Cross or Whittington Stone.”
Boris has thrown his weight behind the campaign in the same way you’d back your four year old when they tell you they want to be an astronaut when they grow up. A spokesman for the mayor said “The Mayor believes marking the area’s historical connection with Dick Whittington seems appropriate, however he wishes to warn campaigners for a name change that the cost of doing so would be considerable. As well as changing signs along the line, there are the costs of changing maps and announcements. Given the pressures on Transport for London’s budget, it seems unlikely that the names of Tube stations can be changed in the near future.”
[Boriswatch Translation: “Lovely. Now go away.”]Naming Underground stations after ex-London Mayors might also set something of a precedent. In seven hundred years we might well see Red Kennington or Boruis-lip Gardens and pantomimes the nation over featuring spritely young ladies dressed up as Boris singing songs about “inverted pyramids of piffle”.
Or not, obv.