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By August 24, 2009News
Where did you say the spaceship had landed...?

Where did you say the spaceship had landed...?

There was euphoria in a small corner of London (and, indeed, the rest of the UK) this weekend as England’s cricketers regained the Ashes from the Australians. Andrew Strauss’ side won the fifth and final Test by 197 runs and the series 2-1.

In a highly alliterative message of congratulation, Bozza said that England had “spun, swung and swatted their way to an incredible triumph.” We at Boriswatch Towers presume he was talking about the cricket, and not the removal of a wasps nest somewhere in the pavilion.

BoJo continued, “I hope this amazing feat will inspire kids who may never have played cricket to pick up a bat or a ball in the hope of becoming the next Freddie Flintoff, Monty Panesar or Jonathan Trott.”

Bozza wasn’t the only person to get in on the act. Buckingham Palace said, “The Queen congratulates the England team on their victory in the Ashes, and extends her good wishes to both teams on their excellent performances over the course of the series.” Does she? Really? Do you think Her Maj knows the different between a silly point and a mid-off? And isn’t the Ashes an event in which she should be largely impartial, being as it’s like her expressing a preference of which of her kids she wanted to win the school Egg and Spoon race…?


  • angela says:

    Mr. Boriswatch, you are actually shortchanging her Maj. on this one. Our Queen and Prince Philip actually made a visit to Lords during the series, and had a high old time, enjoying a specially cooked lunch so much they didn’t want to leave when the time came.

    Maybe our Queen’s enjoyment was enhanced because the ushers tracked down a bottle of Dubonnet so she could enjoy her favourite drink of G and T with ice and lemon and a hearty swig of Dubonnet in it. Keep drinking this and any troubles understanding the play just float away……

    Loved Boris’s description of our well deserved victory…. “swung , spun and swatted….” don’t forget sweated – it was touch and go at times.

  • Prestwick says:

    Cricketing analyst and Telegraph Sport columnist, Simon Hughes points out that Lords has “the best five course lunch in the cricketing world.”

    The ground is a real gem. We need to billions, nay, trillions to encase the place in a protective bubble so that its foundations never get sullied by acid rain, bombs (both high explosive and nuclear) and even direct hits from mile wide comets or meteors.

    When Aliens visit the ruins of this planet once life is finally wiped out, they need to find an indicator of the human race’s past civilised behaviour…and Lords is the place to find it!
    .-= Prestwick´s last blog ..Required reading for the week. =-.

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